Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I’m not really sure where to start.

Here I go after a couple of days; I’m not really sure where to start.

I have a new therapist because the previous one left. I wrote it ended abruptly so I am hoping the new therapist will be good. It is going be interesting considering she asked questions about things I like to bury emotionally.

Now, as to the transition, its weird; I feel comfortable with it but there is a hesitation, like I put myself in the position years ago without the physical changes. I wish my previous girlfriend was around, there are a lot of things she could help me with, because the things I need help with doing the transition are things we worked on together as to speech and grammar. Anyway, that is the past. I’ll get a girlfiend companion.

My job is more anxious to see the changes then I;I guess. From what I read and heard from transgender individuals it is the opposite. I have a job where I can walk in and my management will know already, my boss knew for months before I even told him specifically. There still seem to be tough decisions I have to make but I do not know what they are right now.

As to a dilemma, people who know me I went through a period where I always was happy to change into an outfit and take pictures. I am not sure why I am not like that right now, I would think I would be running for the camera but I’m not. I’ve continually written a blog and considered doing a video log (vlog) many times. The reason of not doing the video log is that I am scared my flaws as to looking and sounding female will be apparent. The part I do not understand it’s not difficult for me to talk softer or look female, I just have to be myself.

I am getting my hair done this week, I already highlighted it.


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