Thursday, September 18, 2008
I always observe people and situations as an outsider, detached physically, mentally and emotionally. Now I am contemplating in explosions of heavy sounding beats and tranquil moments of solitude. I’m always misunderstood often inwardly guessing the cause, affecting my decisions, questioning my very intentions.
I am internally looking at a bigger magnificent mosaic, the mosaic of reminiscent dreams. This is a princess trapped in a sparkling glass, both full of life and lifeless in a given moment. Making a great picture made of many small delicate pieces. My world surrounding me devouring my spirit leaving a void, burdened. I am now stranded watching people walking pass thinking ones thoughts; waiting to be looked upon. I am a soft tender beauty with piercing words; flourishing by a single whisper.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Life is unchanging, chaotic, which is never ending.
I watch proper steadily doing the daily routine, cleaning and chatting.
People worried about the rippled effects of the stock market plummeting.
The jobless rates ever increasing, as people are looking for jobs in the dieing market.
I worry about the color of lipstick, thinking about a soft pink hue.
A tender and gentle color.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I sit here contemplating deeply what changed doing the warm summer. My hair changed to reveal a tender face if looked upon, my personality riveting slowly, like a eternal diamond becoming more beautiful as time passes, friendships being tested by chaotic times of situations seeming rare, but true, pure, and honest. A summer of new friendships made pushing emotional and mental limits, like a sweet innocent rose being pulled from inside out.
PS. I will edit again.
Monday, June 23, 2008
I lay down in my soft bed on a raining night, contemplating. I live a life of secrets, hiding myself from the world, but only seen by the naked eye, if watched carefully. I close my eyes gently, looking at a woman, passionately glaring back at me wanting to exist, desperately seeking attention. I am wondering about my beliefs and thoughts, which always in question, the thoughts to trust myself is always in doubt. Restlessly, trying to sleep, knowing this existence is a masquerade, a mask that haunts me.
Vivianne is a person, she does exist.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Strong, determined, loyal, and relentless a black stallion. Raw in momentum, unstopping towards one goal. A solid foundation nearly unbreakable, not crying emotionless without a tear. Dead to the world.
This I must be, what I am but with a cold heart, unfeminine, hiding under a deep mask a secret. A rose becoming a secret revealing itself sporadically, but living a lie, a chaotic hated reality, a bastard.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Quietly lying in bed, a frozen mannequin untouched inanimate, unable to budge, depleted.
Frantically whispering crying for life, black, soundless and unnoticed, gasping for air, conversations that does not exist.
Misunderstanding and confusion, looming among society, white clouds over a dense fog, hiding a shadow.
Flowing white pleasant dress in nude stocking stored in imagery, a muse, soft subconscious stripped but speaking these words, fully moving in a motionless body, and yearning.
Beautiful smooth porcelain, a dark princess, taking over, contemplating, waiting for this lifeless body to regain strength, looking up in crystal eyes.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Standing in a corner, one spot, and eyes looking around for help, an escape, and a route out.
Crowds watching thought to be close but far away looking away, distant stars, distorted not listening to the echoing sounds.
Contemplating dazed puzzled and worried eyes questioning every millisecond, now becoming seconds.
Convictions becoming so strong, deeply protective, raw, and unfaltering externally. Ashamed, weakened, vulnerable, unwanted coldness subconsciously cascading like a tidal wave, internally, battle raging.
All senses of security falling down, internal disgust in ones thought. Disgrace so prevalent.
Hands grappling on, gripping ones awareness, a look to hold on to. Soft words spoken, an internal rose being called upon, picking up fragments, light touches of peace, focusing, internal charms overriding.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Everybody is meant to touch a life either good or bad on the surface, or with true honesty and authenticity. Some touch lives without knowing how, like a candle flickering randomly shining brilliance to is surrounding, sometimes fading away into dim sparks. Some people walk around in desperation, like a dense fog, clouding one judgment and leaving partial thoughts. A phone call late night, reminded me I need to hide, burying myself, keeping some things hidden. - Vivianne
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
a thought...Sometimes what is not said is the most dangerous thing. Perceived notions made by assumptions, false pretenses not lies. Forgetting of ones heart, including the harsh realities of pass memories. Writing now in tivial but understanding words, only heard by the ones concerned.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Sitting in nude ripped stockings, lonely innocence whispering, and heart fading in a melody of heart beats.
Musing looking down, naked in expression, dressed in finely lined black eyeliner, fading black mascara, subtle red lipstick.
Pondering random thoughts, birds chirping sweet songs, pink blossoming roses, sweet aromas floating from soft petals.
Yearning a soft kiss, gentle whisper, an accepting honest spirit, thoughtfully engaging.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
White pure mascara thinly lined looking downward, lying in a fertile position.
Whispering soft intimate words, settle expressions, nor happy or sad, barren, staring at open hands.
Pacing vast raptures mirrored through veiled masquerades, teardrops falling on crystal ponds.
False pretenses and eternal lies, but hidden truths, revealed in a mystical but trivial glare.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Bleeding skin ruffled skirt, ripped stockings, staring at the deep blue sky
Looking up being tormented, by a lonely quiet demon
Separating two evils, fighting frantically, between layers of my sprit and flesh.
Layering makeup slowly fading day-to-day, waiting to be seen again, almost barren.
Walking through fields of petals and thorns, stripped, hiding as the soft breeze passes.
Burning open wombs, left untouched, waiting to be crushed and isolated.
A spirit, looks upon this body, grips it and plants a new flower creating a pink rose.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Masquerading a secret mask a soft lonely enchanted gem.
Remembering broken memories creating shattered fragments, twinkling glitter filling the air.
Listening intuitively observing the unspoken words of ones surroundings, a timeless mosaic of flickering leafs.
Longing to find an inner presents, a lonely women, always buried, partially revealed though layers of subtle foundations and mascara.
Observing to understand life precious moments, treasures more priceless as time passes by.
Creating now a present day disguise that satisfies this chaotic world, a temporary cage. An equally despised and hated existence, the impressions of old recollections.
Standing in a mystic sky, angelic, looking up. Still covered, hidden, a precious jewel completely exposed.
Waiting for moments to be open, truly oneself.