Monday, December 28, 2009

If everyone is curious

If everyone is curious, I have not written in a long while. This is because I have been creating video blogs. I’ll try to catch up.

The transition is going as smooth as it could be. I spent the holiday with my sister, but I did it dressed up as a guy. After the discussion with her before dinner, I had the feeling my family will never accept me as I am now. I talked with my mother and I got the same feeling to in a way. So, transitioning, I feel I will be separated from my family so its been emotionally difficult, I am trying to hold the feelings inside but I think I might break down emotionally. A basket case for my therapist when I see her again.

I also have to seek work, I have been unemployed for a month. So, that’s been hard doing this economic time. I have to deal with the fact I will be seeking work as Vivianne, so that’s emotionally difficult. I have not gotten to the point of a serious interview, which I am afraid in some way. I never had to deal with going to a interview and being looked as a female or transgender. There are so many prejudices that I have to deal with now.

It’s going on 8 months to 9 months of hormone therapy, I look so female now. Just waiting for the money to get the new prescription. I seen my id a few days ago, in a month I have to get my id pictures changed because I look female and I will have serious problems being checked. Luckily I have not been in that position but I had to pick up a package at the post office. It finally came into my mind when I took my id out. The picture on it looks like another person. I know it’s me, but it doesn’t look like me. Both the picture and gender are inaccurate.

Now last, does all this transition affect the sexual preferences? Nope. I still love females, pretty legs, nice size chest and hips. So, that is what I like. My interest in guys is still zero.

The only things that change, is my taste in clothing. It is still changing like you see in the videos. So, hopefully it gets hotter. I know it will.

Guys, subscribe to my channel and

They are two things I would like to get up and running. At least few the videos, comment, and tell others if you don’t subscribe but subscribe to them if you can.

Love you all.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Titanic – Rose

I’m here listening to Titanic – Rose them song. It one of those songs that makes me think, I have a new week to start. I always wanted a wife like Rose someone who was full of surprises. A women who is strong but as gentle as a rose, someone with a heart that is always cherished.


Tuesday, December 8, 2009


This is the current news; I have not done a blog because life is upside down for me. I wrote a status about looking for work, so I am not employed. It dealt with something not done completed, which someone admitted to but being I am responsible. I was terminated. Now how does this affect me?

It makes life extremely difficult; I thought I would go through the change gradually. I can’t anymore, I will have unemployment but that might not be all the income I need. Please take account, I have both therapies including hormone and regular therapy, don’t forget electrolysis. This job lost is a major blow to me, financially, emotionally, and mentally. A lot of energy was put into the work but I am not sure what will come of it.

Now, the reality, I live. I have to face the fact people who do not know me, see me as female. I have to understand everything about me and life, and adjust accordingly. The way I talk, my mannerism, how I perceive things, who I am friends with, and so many other things.

The scary part of it is I do not know where to start. It’s not scary but I was not expecting to be thrown into the ocean so fast. It is like a butterfly flying on land, and then all of a sudden the land is taken away and underneath is an ocean.

Vivianne Summers