Let Me Breath ...

Let me breath ....

Looking around, thinking, everything was a shadow, a person growing with many struggles and pain.
But knowing a sense of tranquillity will come, a radiant light, distinctively beautiful.
Lifting my spirit, in hope, aspiring to gain wisdom and knowledge.
Realizing with each daily confirmation, my heart is not alone, its connected with others.
Blossoming, a word sometimes taken lightly, but knowing that is my life.
Learning to embrace each moment and breathing in another light
Sharing my heart in words and thoughts with others, for even with my struggles, I will look up.

Vivianne
http://viviannesummers.blogspot.com/

PS. Trying really hard! Thought as I move through things, I will still remain a shadow as before but that isn't happening. My youtube channel. http://youtube.com/averyny

Walking

I'm happy to have a open mind. Free from not following stereotypes, thinking of individuals fitting a particular gender norm, hiding between a cloak and dagger, and telling people what they should be. I feel hurt about some statements I seen and by some things that was said.

My heart says, we was not put on this planet to judge others. Better yet, we are here to share our faith and belief, to treat others as a equal. It doesn't matter, a persons, race, sex, gender, age, or any other human standard we put on a individuals. I might be different, but my heart at the end of the day, thinks this one thing.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” Hebrews 11:1

So, in that light, I will keep backing my actions. I will have my beautiful family with a beautiful wife, being a parent. Sharing with others my faith, and doing what I've been brought here to do.

Vivianne
http://youtube.com/averyny

Goodnight

Goodnight
---------

This piece of paper is empty, so I lay here contemplating a throught to write.

My mind thinks pondering many images appearing vividly, a rainbow; dynamic with bright lights of pure radiance.

I still lay here with many fears, like a rainbow going into a prism, creating chaotic light.

Still, beautiful with many shades, but behind the reflection. It's a quiet place, some fears visible to the naked eye.

Here I push with hope behind a faith, that it will be seen.

So, as I lay here, now with a full piece of paper, let my body fall into a quiet sleep.

Goodnight.

Vivianne
http://twitter.com/viviannesummers
http://youtube.com/averyny

Random thought of the day

I have not written in a while, so I figure I’ll do it now. Where do I start? I’m not sure where, but I write something.

I was reading a documentary about humans and space exploration, and personally I’ve been following the private space industry. It’s really sad how space exploration have not changed much in the last few decades. There have been so many advances that haven’t been put into practice, for example, the space shuttle could have been replaced to a second version with technical advances. It seems everyone is bent on hurting others and being mean spirited. That includes everything from killing others or turning a blind eye to people of need, recently a man died in the street while people passed him. People are quick to text a friend or call someone on a cell phone, but those same people could not dial 911. That’s all they needed to do.

Now, recently someone called my changes just a physical change. Really! That is like saying to a pregnant women she is just going through emotional changes. That annoyed me. I think someone needs to realize now I have to carry the burden of a male making sure all the needs of my spouse is provided for including children. I also carry the emotional, mental, and physical burden of a women, of course nothing that deals with the uterus but pretty much everything else. It’s a weight of two people on one person.

People can tell me otherwise, I am open to thoughts.

Now, I can talk about my family. I did see them about a month ago. I talked to both my parents which went okay. I finally went fishing with my father after 30+ years. I can sit do and spend some quiet time with him. There are more details but it is not the time or place to write it.

I am not sure what else to write but there will be more.

Vivianne

Heart

HEART

I’m listening to music right now, sitting peacefully, reflecting upon my passing days.
My heart listening, calmly, letting go quiet tears, forgetting everyday loneliness.
A tranquil presence smiles, calming, expressing myself in soothing words.
Quietly whispering as my lips move in unison, intimately, opening my heart.
Touching my hair softly, sweeping it to my side pulling it with my fingertips, revealing my eyes.
Looking up, smiling meeting your eyes, whispering soft words.

Vivianne
http://viviannesummers.blogspot.com
http://viviannesummers.tumblr.com

PS

I know many will not see me; they automatically want to see what they know.
They will not let go of the pass, funny. I’ll just smile for the future.

The Twinkling Rebirth

The Twinkling Rebirth

I am trying to think of a great philosophy, an analogy but I most pause myself.
I have written many thoughts, that reveal deep emotions, sometimes buried feelings.
My life around me is evolving, what was, is the past. I must realize this.

It is different, I always felt femininity.

Femininity, an inner beauty I seen in a twinkling of an eye, the expressions I always admired.
The timeless reflections of empathy, joy, love, emotion, pain, struggle, sometimes limitless.
The signs of motherhood, intuition, creativity, life, and rebirth, the nurturing spirit.

My suffocating right is here, but it’s a rebirth, I lived one life and started another.
The very inner beauty I admired is now me, the essence, I am.

After reading this, there is no one true metaphor or thought.

For through this femininity, the very essence of my being, through many struggles. An inner beauty of joy, love, and emotion will live. For it is my rebirth, that will twinkle in my eyes.

Vivianne Summers
http://viviannesummers.blogspot.com
Http://youtube.com/averyny


PS. I went to a party last night, and admired one of the ladies there. Now reflecting upon it today,
I think I was admiring what I could be, what I must strive to achieve. Knowing, I have the same beauty.

A word can tell a million things

A word can tell a million things, I’ve asked myself why change.
People just going think of you one way, they will not change.
They won’t even realize; everything they experienced you haven’t.
That experience is required for the new flower, another disadvantage.
Someone might ask why there is now no closeness, maybe the flower needs some experience, some practice.
Maybe the person is asking the wrong question, how can I be a girl friend?

Vivianne Summers
http://youtube.com/averyny
http://viviannesummers.blogspot.com

THE SHADOW

THE SHADOW
by Marcia Hall


I knew a shadow once.
She dwelled deep inside the heart of a man.

His heart was dark and troubled. The shadow remained silent, unmoving, crouched in a place without light and devoid of hope.

When, once in a while, sunlight illuminated his heart, the shadow came alive. The heart filled with joy and swelled with hope, and the shadow danced with happiness.

Rare were those good times. More and more, the darkness descended. The shadow stayed inside the heart, unfulfilled and longing for a way to come alive again.

The man began to think more earnestly than he had ever thought before. He turned ideas over and over in his mind. He pondered everything about his life. Finally ... finally ... his ideas solidified into one amazing, life-changing, earth-shattering decision.

The shadow stirred. She could feel something happening. It was as if her world, there in his heart, was coming alive.

And then it happened. The man stood erect, legs spread, arms reaching heavenward, eyes beseeching the heavens. Suddenly, he cried, "I am not Avery. I am VIVIANNE. Do you hear me, world? I AM VIVIANNE!"

He bent down, picked up seashells on the shore, and threw them into the crashing surf. He threw off his shoes and danced in the sand, and he laughed with joy. Laughing and crying at the same time, he proclaimed, "I AM VIVIANNE!"

Those words roused the shadow, and she saw that sunlight was streaming into the heart. There were no dark recesses in which to hide. Everything was new and bright. Every moment had meaning. The shadow was so excited that she leaped from the heart onto the sand so she could dance behind him.

Every time he moved his arms, so did she! Every time he took a dance step, so did she! It was the first time she had truly been a shadow!

Ah, but that wasn't all. She looked way up into his face, that handsome, rugged face she had so long admired, and she was astonished. He wasn't a man -- he was a woman, a beautiful woman, a happy woman! Together they danced until the moon was high.

At last, Vivianne stopped dancing. She was tired. She found a soft, sandy spot between two large rocks, lay back, and let sleep overcome her, traces of a smile on her lips. The shadow returned to Vivianne's heart, but there,too, were changes. Just as the stars shone down on Vivianne, so the light pierced the darkness of her heart, and there were no more dark recesses. There was only soft light. The shadow had to blink to believe it.

There was no place for the shadow to hide. There was no reason to hide!

Vivianne's breathing was slow and relaxed, in, then out, in, then out, and soon the shadow was lulled to sleep.

Those simple, joyful words, "I AM VIVIANNE, I AM VIVIANNE!" had found the key, had opened the door, and sunlight had replaced the darkness. Vivianne and her shadow had an adventure before them, but it would be met face to face in the brightness of day, never again in darkness.

In that final moment of realization, Vivianne had found peace and contentment and commitment -- and, most of all, she had found herself.

I know this tale is real for I am the shadow.