Society trains you that being physically male means you have to think, act, and react male. A superficial lie, etched in stone.
Even being your thinking about silk soft stocking gently touching the skin or glistening transparent romantic dress, is treated with equal disdain. If talked about laughed at, treated as a sinful thought. Such prejudice this society lies behind; hiding hate and the thought to conform.
At a young age, I was going through changes, looking at myself in the mirror daily; hoping for something to happen. The physical changes reinforcing what society believes; the belief physically male must mean masculine. I would like to have soft silky hands, long slender legs, long smooth beautiful hair, and much more; saying to myself daily. Each day going by hating it. Learning to reinforce the lies society has; giving small clues though out.
It took a few words at a young age; to create a mask my whole life time. I live a life of confusion; all my interaction is feminine; leaving strangers, friends, girlfriends, and family often confused.
The thoughts “That outfit looks cute on her. What do the outfit look like on me? What color nail polish or hairstyle matches it? What shoes? What hosiery? Where can I get it? Oh by the way, the weather is nice”, is unspoken.