So, I’m walking down the street heading to the train street. Right after, from a car that was turning behind me. I hear some guy saying “. Fuck that”. Ironically, just hearing those two words I have a good idea what he is talking about. Sadly, My respect for the male population is decreasing. It seems like guy only think about with ass they can get or a quick bang or committed bang, I find it sad and demeaning.
Vivianne
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Getting unwelcome advances
There is nothing substantial new today as my transition. I can’t stand guys. I mentioned there has been some growth and bodily changes. Consequences, I was grabbed in the behind from some random guy in a hospital male restroom about a week ago. I happen to be with a friend who had to go to the hospital, so after the initial shock.
I do not know what to say, not sure if I can say anything. Other then the experience was disturbing considering many other changes will occur. It felt like crap and was really disrepectful. Figuratively, I do not know to say, if I was harassed or molested. This is the shocking reality of my transition dealing with changes and getting unwelcome advances. I welcome feedback.
Vivianne
I do not know what to say, not sure if I can say anything. Other then the experience was disturbing considering many other changes will occur. It felt like crap and was really disrepectful. Figuratively, I do not know to say, if I was harassed or molested. This is the shocking reality of my transition dealing with changes and getting unwelcome advances. I welcome feedback.
Vivianne
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
My transition if someone wants to call it
My transition if someone wants to call it that is going okay. Therapy is going okay and hormone therapy is going well not much negative response. Still I am annoyed with a few friends who are not taking the changes as well as I thought. Others who understand what is happening seem to not understand the reality of it. In many ways, I’m not cross-dressing anymore; it is a way of life and will continue to be while showing more day to day.
At a request of a friend, I am going post more updates about my transition and everyone feel free to write or leave any comments.
My breast is always sore from growth, which it is getting bigger and my butt is getting plump as typical of a female. It’s been 4 months and there seems to be noticeable changes.
If anyone curious how I will deal with work. I discussed it with my boss who knew I was going through multiple therapies for sometime now. There has been enough little changes that it became really obvious.
I will go to work and do my job as usual, even if my transition is happening. Mentally I think the same, so in a way, it is something I’m comfortable with. It is more how other people will react then I will react. I was mistakenly called Maam at work, and girlfriend a couple of times. I do not think that’s bad and it shows how I established many of my friendships.
Vivianne
At a request of a friend, I am going post more updates about my transition and everyone feel free to write or leave any comments.
My breast is always sore from growth, which it is getting bigger and my butt is getting plump as typical of a female. It’s been 4 months and there seems to be noticeable changes.
If anyone curious how I will deal with work. I discussed it with my boss who knew I was going through multiple therapies for sometime now. There has been enough little changes that it became really obvious.
I will go to work and do my job as usual, even if my transition is happening. Mentally I think the same, so in a way, it is something I’m comfortable with. It is more how other people will react then I will react. I was mistakenly called Maam at work, and girlfriend a couple of times. I do not think that’s bad and it shows how I established many of my friendships.
Vivianne
Monday, July 6, 2009
Transistion
Transistion
It wasn’t an imagination, the black porcelain doll still living; unmasked, showing it day to day.
People might treat me like an outcast, something morbid, fake, superficial a non-reality
I’m not that person not an outcast but someone real now dealing with racial, social and gender prejudices, now a sacrifice that’s destined.
I’m in a middle of a transition, emotions going through my soul and body, physically changing, breaking down an old mosaic putting new one in place.
I’m the doll in the crystal dome, warped in pink, softly thinking. Now watching as new colors reveal it self day to day.
Vivianne Summers
It wasn’t an imagination, the black porcelain doll still living; unmasked, showing it day to day.
People might treat me like an outcast, something morbid, fake, superficial a non-reality
I’m not that person not an outcast but someone real now dealing with racial, social and gender prejudices, now a sacrifice that’s destined.
I’m in a middle of a transition, emotions going through my soul and body, physically changing, breaking down an old mosaic putting new one in place.
I’m the doll in the crystal dome, warped in pink, softly thinking. Now watching as new colors reveal it self day to day.
Vivianne Summers
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Update 2 months
Update 2 months
If anyone is curious, the transition is going okay. I’ve been slowly putting on makeup at least not obvious. There has been some physical changes.
The therapy is going well. As for the pills, there haven’t been any major side effects, which is good. It’s a change from just dressing up to eventually being something permanent.
Vivianne
If anyone is curious, the transition is going okay. I’ve been slowly putting on makeup at least not obvious. There has been some physical changes.
The therapy is going well. As for the pills, there haven’t been any major side effects, which is good. It’s a change from just dressing up to eventually being something permanent.
Vivianne
Friday, May 29, 2009
What Is
What Is
I do not question what if, it’s seemingly childish, it is asking about something inevitable. Life is not about experiencing what if but it is about living what is, something destined.
Significantly growing all senses over time, emotionally coping as new situations appear, mentally challenging one mind day to day, and physically pushing one body through everyday situations.
Now quietly sitting down, slowing rolling my fingers on my back, my body now changing everyday, closing my eyes. Napping in a light trance, the same senses with new meanings.
I exist.
Vivianne Summers
I do not question what if, it’s seemingly childish, it is asking about something inevitable. Life is not about experiencing what if but it is about living what is, something destined.
Significantly growing all senses over time, emotionally coping as new situations appear, mentally challenging one mind day to day, and physically pushing one body through everyday situations.
Now quietly sitting down, slowing rolling my fingers on my back, my body now changing everyday, closing my eyes. Napping in a light trance, the same senses with new meanings.
I exist.
Vivianne Summers
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wind
Wind
Questioning moments as time come to pass, new thoughts, feelings, expression. A cascade laying down revealing a body, an unseen mystery feel of emotions and thoughts, hidden, but now opening up. Asking myself what will come to pass, expecting the unexpected. A soaring bird flying through the wind, gliding effortlessly through the air.
Vivianne Summers
Questioning moments as time come to pass, new thoughts, feelings, expression. A cascade laying down revealing a body, an unseen mystery feel of emotions and thoughts, hidden, but now opening up. Asking myself what will come to pass, expecting the unexpected. A soaring bird flying through the wind, gliding effortlessly through the air.
Vivianne Summers
Friday, April 3, 2009
Beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful to me soft, innocent, dainty, pleasant, romantic, elegant, and charming an enlightenment that cannot be described with simple words; but something we are aware of, seeing or touching it. You smile when it appears, a magnificent light with such clarity it shines upon but it just as fragile as a feather gliding through the air.
As long as I remember, I masked all my emotions and feelings, in a worldly form a tough interior and exterior. Based upon what everyone wants to see, something people want to be safe in. Praying day to day just to survive, praying for new hope and the mask is never broken. Knowing to be transparent will lead to pain, anger, and regret. Tearing apart what I created.
The princess in a beautiful snow globe might be a metaphor or a truth. While growing up playing with a snow globe imagining a white dress watching white shining flakes flowing down or a dancer is wearing a soft pink dress in en Pointe. Or maybe a young girl with green eyes as rare pink diamond, walking a great labyrinth, among a rainbow of flowers, pathways and directions revealing endless possibilities. As I am walking a bright light gazing upon watching every direction taken.
Vivianne Summers
Beautiful to me soft, innocent, dainty, pleasant, romantic, elegant, and charming an enlightenment that cannot be described with simple words; but something we are aware of, seeing or touching it. You smile when it appears, a magnificent light with such clarity it shines upon but it just as fragile as a feather gliding through the air.
As long as I remember, I masked all my emotions and feelings, in a worldly form a tough interior and exterior. Based upon what everyone wants to see, something people want to be safe in. Praying day to day just to survive, praying for new hope and the mask is never broken. Knowing to be transparent will lead to pain, anger, and regret. Tearing apart what I created.
The princess in a beautiful snow globe might be a metaphor or a truth. While growing up playing with a snow globe imagining a white dress watching white shining flakes flowing down or a dancer is wearing a soft pink dress in en Pointe. Or maybe a young girl with green eyes as rare pink diamond, walking a great labyrinth, among a rainbow of flowers, pathways and directions revealing endless possibilities. As I am walking a bright light gazing upon watching every direction taken.
Vivianne Summers
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