The Train Ride

The Train Ride

I see so many people on this train, I just wonder.
There are two young Asian girls dressed casually but having fashionable sense, carrying a yellow plastic bag of snacks
A husband sitting right next to me with his wife across from him, they both are tourist from the map guide in his hand
A young lady standing at the door in her own world, listening to music through earphones, carrying a bag from the dry cleaners.
A young male wearing khaki shorts and blue polo shirt, with his bike, who gave directions to a lady.
A young couple sitting across from me, listening to music, sharing one pair of earphones.
A family of 4, the parents, and two young kids playing in the corner train seats. The parents talking to each other.
A interracial couple across from me in the middle of the train sitting, the guy caressing the female legs while she sits near a door.
Where do I fit into this picture?
I'm pondering thoughts, what is my role in all of this, who am I.
As I think about life, as the train travels to the next stop.

Vivianne
http://viviannesummers.blogspot.com

Follow on twitter - twitter.com/viviannesummers

So many things.

My life, I saw a friend of mine, my cousin, she is more of a friend yesterday. Still, it was good but it made me realize so many things, I was wearing my typical fitted jeans and t-shirt, and a baseball cap. So, I look like a tomgirl.

Anyway, from conversation with my family not her, it reminded me how my parents think there is some major epic problem with me. There isn’t a problem, like I want to be 100% happy, but knowing no matter what I will be looked down upon. I fill like 80% and I want to bring my queen back. Viva la Vivianne.

Vivianne

On The Quiet

On The Quiet

I hear two birds chirping waiting for spring rainfall.
As the spring thunderstorm comes near, I sit peacefully thinking of life.
My desires, my goals, and my dreams being thought of with self-assurance.
Pondering the secrets inside my heart, meditating peaceful thoughts.
Wishing I can share my dreams with another, calming my spirit.
When the first water drops, it will echo the reflections of my thoughts.
So, in this light, I rest my soul.
Sitting in tranquility.

Vivianne Anthony
http://viviannesummers.blogspot.com

Twitter
http://twitter.com/viviannesummers

Other Writings and Photos!
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/her-life/11028023

Random thought of the day

I have not written in a while, so I figure I’ll do it now. Where do I start? I’m not sure where, but I write something.

I was reading a documentary about humans and space exploration, and personally I’ve been following the private space industry. It’s really sad how space exploration have not changed much in the last few decades. There have been so many advances that haven’t been put into practice, for example, the space shuttle could have been replaced to a second version with technical advances. It seems everyone is bent on hurting others and being mean spirited. That includes everything from killing others or turning a blind eye to people of need, recently a man died in the street while people passed him. People are quick to text a friend or call someone on a cell phone, but those same people could not dial 911. That’s all they needed to do.

Now, recently someone called my changes just a physical change. Really! That is like saying to a pregnant women she is just going through emotional changes. That annoyed me. I think someone needs to realize now I have to carry the burden of a male making sure all the needs of my spouse is provided for including children. I also carry the emotional, mental, and physical burden of a women, of course nothing that deals with the uterus but pretty much everything else. It’s a weight of two people on one person.

People can tell me otherwise, I am open to thoughts.

Now, I can talk about my family. I did see them about a month ago. I talked to both my parents which went okay. I finally went fishing with my father after 30+ years. I can sit do and spend some quiet time with him. There are more details but it is not the time or place to write it.

I am not sure what else to write but there will be more.

Vivianne

Heart

HEART

I’m listening to music right now, sitting peacefully, reflecting upon my passing days.
My heart listening, calmly, letting go quiet tears, forgetting everyday loneliness.
A tranquil presence smiles, calming, expressing myself in soothing words.
Quietly whispering as my lips move in unison, intimately, opening my heart.
Touching my hair softly, sweeping it to my side pulling it with my fingertips, revealing my eyes.
Looking up, smiling meeting your eyes, whispering soft words.

Vivianne
http://viviannesummers.blogspot.com
http://viviannesummers.tumblr.com

PS

I know many will not see me; they automatically want to see what they know.
They will not let go of the pass, funny. I’ll just smile for the future.

Choir

So, Yea. I song with the choir in front of the church for the first time today. It was good. I kinda was expecting to be in front of the church in the choir, Sunday, I guess that was not the plan, let me say Gods plan.

I am going have so many eyes watching me. So, I guess I am living the slogan, just do it. If anyone wants to come to the church, hit me up.

The Twinkling Rebirth

The Twinkling Rebirth

I am trying to think of a great philosophy, an analogy but I most pause myself.
I have written many thoughts, that reveal deep emotions, sometimes buried feelings.
My life around me is evolving, what was, is the past. I must realize this.

It is different, I always felt femininity.

Femininity, an inner beauty I seen in a twinkling of an eye, the expressions I always admired.
The timeless reflections of empathy, joy, love, emotion, pain, struggle, sometimes limitless.
The signs of motherhood, intuition, creativity, life, and rebirth, the nurturing spirit.

My suffocating right is here, but it’s a rebirth, I lived one life and started another.
The very inner beauty I admired is now me, the essence, I am.

After reading this, there is no one true metaphor or thought.

For through this femininity, the very essence of my being, through many struggles. An inner beauty of joy, love, and emotion will live. For it is my rebirth, that will twinkle in my eyes.

Vivianne Summers
http://viviannesummers.blogspot.com
Http://youtube.com/averyny


PS. I went to a party last night, and admired one of the ladies there. Now reflecting upon it today,
I think I was admiring what I could be, what I must strive to achieve. Knowing, I have the same beauty.

people assuming things

This update is about nothing specific, I just felt like ranting. It’s somewhat, me rambling.

I’m tired of people assuming things about me. For example, the recent is that I am always out. This has been the case, since high school so, pretty much. It is rare for someone to ask if I want to go hang out, since the reality is I am usually home. Then the second assumption is I have a love life. I don’t even have a girlfriend and that’s been a while. It’s like I have a sticker on my forehead that says, not available.

I’m actually going stop at this note, it’s depressing and I do not want to be depressed.

Vivianne
http://youtube.com/averyny